Flare: The Kitchen Scene

Here's an extract from Chapter five of the book. This is probably the scene in the book that went through the most re-writes. The characters have already been introduced at this point in an earlier battle scene but I wanted to add some depth to them and show off their personalities and particularly their relationships, mainly through dialogue. I hope you all enjoy it and see you next week for one more extract.

Velocity sped into the kitchen in her dressing gown to put the coffee on. Mage was sitting at the table with a full breakfast already prepared.

“Morning!” he said cheerfully.

“Mage?! What in the name of Heaven are you doing?” she tied the belt of her dressing gown tighter, making sure she was completely covered up. “Since when do you get up this early? How did you get in here?”

“I can walk through walls when I need to.”

Velocity covered her face with her hands, it was too early in the morning to be dealing with this guy: “Why did you “need” to walk through ours first thing in the morning?”

“I need a small favour. Tiny, you could even say its infinitesimal. My new line of wholesome, healthy foodstuffs is getting its official launch today. Photographers, T.V. cameras, all that good stuff. I could use some backup. It’d be good P.R. for the team!”

Solarstorm entered the room dressed in a navy suit, a blue shirt and tie.

“This is the same “wholesome” stuff that you complained gave you Diarrhoea last month?” He asked.

“The very same. The Doctor actually said it was chronic Diarrhoea, by the way. I have a sick note.” Mage picked up a box of breakfast cereal from the table. “Check this out. It's called “Mages Choice” and it's worth a lot of money to selected charities.”

Velocity examined the box, which had a picture of Mage smiling and giving a thumbs up as he used a spoon to scoop up some cereal from a bowl.

She laughed: “Do these “charities” include the local bars, restaurants and clothes stores?”

“Oh, what’s this? I'm getting harassment from the woman who endorsed those running shoes that are made by five year olds in a sweatshop.”

“Those allegations were never proven!” Velocity retorted.

Solarstorm raised his voice to try and stop the developing argument: “We’re not interested Mage. Buying a lot of fancy food from your company won’t make people healthier or thinner, Why not just tell people to eat some fruit and vegetables and do some exercise if they want to be healthy?”

“Because” Mage said slowly, as if speaking to a child; “that’s…not…profitable. “Mage’s Choice” is more than just a food brand. The very name conjures up a lifestyle choice that means no stress and no effort, just the need to spend money on these “dried fruit crunchies” that I’m selling.”

Solarstorm sat down and poured himself a large cup of coffee.

“Very nice. Was some of that a quote from the press release?”

“Yes.”

“No deal. People are told to buy useless junk by companies all the time; we’re not getting involved in that.”

“Fine, Ok. But what about that reality show that my agent is trying to set up over at the TV network? Can't you at least sign off on that?”

“Not happening. We're private individuals. We don't like seeing our faces plastered everywhere.”

“We're the world's greatest heroes. We're going to have our faces everywhere whether we want to or not. Am I the only one who wants to make some money off of that?”

Solarstorm sighed: “We’re well looked after by the Government. Velocity and I love to do the charity work but we're not in this for the money. In fact we're thinking of stepping back from all this.”

“You're breaking up the band?!” asked Mage, surprised.

“We've been talking about it.”

A tear appeared in Mage’s eye. He fell off his chair and got down on his knees:

“Please, please do this for me! For us! For the good of humanity! Couldn’t you at least wait until my brand has established itself in the marketplace?”

“That was much better than usual, have you been practicing your grovelling technique?”

Mage began to cry: “I don’t want to die poor! I don’t want to!”

Real tears continued to streak down his cheeks as he pounded his fist on the floor and wailed.

“We're not needed Mage.” Velocity cut in, “Yesterday was the first action we've seen in six months. Our family deserves a normal life. We've been superheroes but not great parents for a long while now. It's time for us to fix that.”

Mage got to his feet and wiped the tears from his eyes: “Thanks for that rousing speech, Yoko Ono. You two are a disappointment!”

Mage strode to the door, opened it and slammed it loudly, for effect. He turned around to face Velocity and glared angrily at her for a few seconds. He finally left the apartment by passing through the wall as if it wasn’t there.

Solarstorm looked puzzled: “How is it that he can enter our apartment and make breakfast without making a sound but he always makes sure to slam the door when he’s leaving?”

“Typical Irishman.”

Solarstorm tried some of the cereal. It was terrible. He coughed most of the mouthful into a napkin and washed the remainder of the cereal down with some orange juice.

“That’s awful; I think I’ll have some toast instead.”

Solarstorm picked up a slice of bread in his right hand and pointed his left index finger at it; his finger emitted a soft orange glow, within seconds the bread started to toast.

 “Do you want to discuss what we said last night?" asked Velocity “Ryan will be up soon and we should talk to him about it”.

“I think we’re done. The super criminals are all safely locked away and the Police are well able to handle everything else, they could have dealt with that hostage situation in the Casino without our help. The Mayor didn’t need to call us in for that.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve been thinking the same for a while.”

 

Ryan walked into the room, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, carrying a schoolbag over his right shoulder. Solarstorm smiled at him:

“So kiddo, you ready for your first day of public school?”

Ryan nodded: He had already decided not to tell them that he had actually started yesterday. It would upset them if they realised that they had forgotten the correct date. “Got my switchblade, some notebooks, my laptop and these writing sticks.” He said, fishing in his backpack and producing some ballpoint pens.

“Pens? I remember those. Is your switchblade properly sharpened?” Solarstorm deadpanned.

“I think so; Warfare gave it to me last Christmas. He doesn’t usually give inferior sharp objects as gifts.”

Solarstorm looked across into the living room to see the display of old fashioned weaponry that Warfare had given the family over the years, Battle-Axes, Swords and even a Mace were displayed in various locked cabinets. Warfare had odd ideas about what people should receive for birthdays and Christmas, but his heart was in the right place.

“Honey, leave that at home!” said Velocity

“Mum, I don’t really have one.” said Ryan, a little exasperated, “I asked Warfare but he said I wasn’t ever going to need one.”

“He’s right; this is a public school you’re going to, not Iraq.”

“Ok, but if I come home covered in bruises…”

“Could you try to avoid that kind of thing? We’re running out of schools to send you to.”

“Tell the kids to stop picking on me just because my Dad can knock buildings over and my Mum can run faster than anyone else on the planet. Things are a lot different to when you two were in school.”

“Hey” Velocity cut in “We had it hard growing up too!”

“You had powers, I don’t.”

“You still might. You’re only fourteen.”

“I’d prefer not to get any, thanks. Am I supposed to grow up to be a super-powered accountant or something?”   

Solarstorm grabbed his car keys from the kitchen counter: “Come on, I’ll drive you to school. We still have plenty of time to ruin your life for you. You’re our responsibility until you turn eighteen.”

“Yeah, you two go on ahead” said Velocity. “This apartment is a pigsty; I’m going to clean it.”

Ryan looked around the spotless apartment;” Mum, we really need to get you a hobby. I hear that knitting is a lot of fun.”

“I already tried it. I can knit a jumper in forty seconds. Your Dad has a wardrobe full of them from when we started dating.”

“I never wear them because they’re so special.” said Solarstorm. “It’s definitely not because they’re in garish colours that make my eyes bleed.”

“We’re going to be late!” said Ryan, checking his watch.

Solarstorm smiled: “See Lisa? He gets that from you. We’ll speak to Warfare when I get back.”

“Sure, go. I’ll see you in an hour or so.”

 

Ryan sat in the passenger seat of his Dad’s car as they drove through the traffic on the way to school.

“Listen Ryan. Your Mom and I are worried. Are you going to be OK in this new school? You’ve had a lot of trouble fitting in everywhere.”

“Something about having superhero parents doesn’t lead to making friends easily.”

“I can understand that. It’s difficult to make friends at all. You’d be surprised how few we have. Outside of the hero community, I mean.”

“Because you have powers?”

“That’s part of it, but it’s more like regular folks don’t really approach us as people. We’re icons, like famous actors or singers. People see the glitzy public façade but not what’s inside. The fact that we’re famous makes our relationships a bit on the superficial side. People want to be friends with you for what you can do for them. Not necessarily because of the person you are. We don’t want that for you. If there’s a chance for you to be a normal person, unaffected by all the craziness that this life brings, then we’re going to take it.”

“Which means what exactly?”

“It means we want you to study and talk to kids your own age, your best friend at the moment is a walking pile of rocks that likes to smash robots.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to pick you up, you can get the school bus home if neither your mother nor I can make it. I’ve a feeling that the meeting with Warfare is going to take some time. Enjoy your day. Try to talk to some other teenagers, preferably ones who aren’t members of a gang.” 

How Much is the Geek Dollar Worth?

In the aftermath of the meat grinder that is San Diego Comic Con and with the relative underperformance of Pacific Rim (in cinemas now! Go see it!) I’ve been wondering how much of a dollar figure can you put on the support of the worldwide, internet savvy nerd. Are films and comic books destined to remain in some form of ghetto? Ignored by the mass audience until something like “The Avengers” or “Harry Potter” breaks out into the mainstream once a decade? Full disclosure, I’m a geek. I play video games, have watched and enjoyed Anime, read comics etc. But I’m also financially minded, I studied Business in college and work in that area, I read a lot of articles about economics and finance. My life is clearly thrill a minute stuff to be sure. As a result of my education, I’ve always been interested in the business part of “entertainment business.” I’ve been known to read a book or two about the topic on my commute to work.

First, let’s talk “Pacific Rim”. I saw it, loved it and will likely try to see it again before it leaves cinemas. I’m sure many of you reading this had the same reaction. My Twitter and Facebook feeds are full of my friends saying great things about the film. It’s probably got the best word of mouth of any film this summer. But the end result is that the movie will struggle to achieve $100 million in its theatrical release in the United States. It’s good money to be sure but it’s far behind several inferior films released this summer. A cinema ticket costs ten dollars, a 3-d ticket somewhere around fourteen dollars. Going by those metrics probably around seven to nine million Americans will pay to go see Pacific Rim in the cinema. When you take into account those of us that will go see it twice or even three times the number of paying individuals shrinks down to the lower end of that 7 to 9 million figure.

That’s a reasonably sized market, but it’s only about 3% of the population of the entire country going to see one of the biggest and best summer films of the year. The film clearly hasn’t hit the mainstream in the way that its makers would have liked. It had a few things going against it: no brand name recognition and no “stars” being the main ones. Studios cannot make money selling a mass released product to 3% of the people, which means that films need to reach a broad audience. One way of ensuring this has been to take product from other sources and adapt it. Comics and books are the old reliables for adaptation as evidenced by the proliferation of comic books on screen we’ve seen since the mid-nineties. World War Z was based on a well-received, though not really mainstream book. Adaptations of pre-existing material have benefits, if they’re good they have a built in fan base and have a story arc mapped out on the page which means less guessing as to how to fix those problems in the third act.

Pacific Rim is an original creation, more or less, it’s heavily influenced by Japanese monster and mecha films and shows but it’s not a straightforward adaption of any of them. As a result it’s not as easy to market it to mainstream audiences. Most peoples experiences with the genres it draws from are “Godzilla” or something brought over from Japan and badly dubbed to be shown to an audience of sugar crazed eight year olds in the mid to late eighties. Telling people that the movie is “Robotech versus Godzilla” isn’t going to sell tickets. We’ve already been burned by that sort of thing thanks to Matthew Broderick. One complaint I’ve read about Pacific Rim is that the trailers didn’t grab people. This is most likely because the coolest stuff from the film isn’t blown in the trailers. This is something that’s infected Hollywood in a big way this past decade. The money shots are used up in two minutes of footage shown four months before the film is released. It drags people in to see the film but it also leaves audiences with a bad taste in their mouths once the film is finished 

Which brings me to San Diego Comic Con, this years’s convention was the biggest ever. 140,000 people passed through the doors of the convention centre to see previews of next year’s slate of geek friendly product. There were massive queues, some crying, new trailers etc. What got good buzz? The Hunger Games, The announcement of Batman versus Superman, The Marvel Studios panel and Agents of SHIELD. These properties don’t really need SDCC to sell themselves, they’re based on pre-existing material with a large fanbase. The trailer for Catching Fire could have been released at any time and garnered just as much attention. Batman versus Superman is a fine idea until you hear that Zack Snyder is directing it because you can then be assured that the plot can be written in two sentences: Batman and Superman are manipulated by some villain to fight each other. They then team up to take down said villain.

SDCC is a great promotional tool but it mainly works for pre-existing properties and caters to those fan-bases. The hype about the show being where projects are made or broken is just hype. There’s very little in the way of evidence to back up that assumption. New properties, whether they’re independent comics or new TV shows don’t break out into the main stream from a good showing at SDCC. I went to SDCC a few years back, one of those years there was reasonable buzz about the “Bionic Woman” pilot that was shown. The result? The series didn’t survive. Good word of mouth from SDCC didn’t help it reach a worthwhile audience share. Maybe there are examples of breakout successes for new properties from the convention but I’m honestly struggling to remember any. The  hype generated by SDCC doesn’t pass beyond the people who were probably going to buy or watch the product anyway and that audience isn’t particularly large to begin with.  

So in short, the engaged, hardcore geek audience is small, maybe it’s five million people in the United States and a few percent of the global market worldwide. There’s money to be made there for sure. But is it enough money to fund massive films and base an enterprise on? I think this year and next year will show it for certain. The summer blockbusters this year all underperformed except for Iron Man 3 (which was successful on the back of 2 previous films and the Avengers). Will the blockbuster season become one breakout hit per year with a bunch of barely profitable also rans like this summer has been? It’s a scary thought and it would mean that our summer films become ever more generic, mindless and dumb in order to get Joe and Joan Average to attend them in cinemas. Scripts and production design will continue to fall in importance in the Studio’s minds as it will all be about the marketing. Trailers will continue to show the best moments of the movie in order to get people in the doors. Which is exactly what Pacific Rim didn’t do and is now paying for.  Go see Pacific Rim and show the studios that there’s an audience for a superior summer film, before it’s too late

Flare: Chapter Two.

After the blurb last week it's time for the first of three sample chapters I'll be putting up here in the run up to releasing the book sometime in mid August. This is the shortest chapter of the book at 1400 words. Generally I aim to have the chapters end up being around 3,500 to 4,000 words for a couple of reasons which i'll bore you with over a pint sometime. I thought for the preview I'd focus on introducing you to some of the main characters, namely Ryan Curtis and his parents, Jake and Lisa. This extract is the entire of chapter two and serves as an introduction to Ryan. 

Chapter Two: First Day.

 Ryan sat on the armchair beside the window in his bedroom. It was seven in the morning and his parents were nowhere to be found. That wasn’t surprising. He had heard them leave an hour earlier as they raced out the door of the apartment to go to work. Had they managed to forget about today and how important it was? There was no way they were going to be back on time. Ryan decided to get ready for school by himself.

He was already washed and dressed so all he had to do was drag his protesting body off the chair, pick up his school bag and head out the door. He entered the kitchen, opened a cupboard and the fridge and pulled out the ingredients he needed to make a southwest omelette: Eggs, some butter, ham, onions, peppers and parsley. A normal fourteen year old boy wouldn’t have to be able to exist completely independently of his parents. But Ryan’s situation in life was far from normal. He listened to some music as he prepared and ate his breakfast. Once he had finished, Ryan placed the dirty dishes and cutlery in the dishwasher and then placed a load of laundry in the rarely used washing machine. Ryan’s mother, Lisa, never had the patience to wait the eternity it took the washing machine to clean a load of clothes. She washed everything by hand. It was faster.

Once the chores were done, Ryan took the cookie jar down from the shelf and dipped his hand inside to take some money out. Ryan’s dad wouldn’t allow sweets in the house, instead the cookie jar held a few hundred dollars in cash, just in case it came in handy. Ryan took a roll of fifty dollar bills out and slipped one into his front pocket. He’d have to pay for lunch in school today. He didn’t have time to cook something decent.

He left the apartment and headed for the elevator in the hall. He needed to be at the bus stop in five minutes. The rest of the building was quiet. The other occupants had left at the same time as his parents had. He exited the building and walked to the bus stop. He didn’t have to wait long for a yellow and black school bus to turn the corner and pull up at the kerb. He got on board and nodded in greeting to the driver. The bus was mostly full. Ryan shuffled down the aisle as the bus started moving; several of the other kids were staring at him, wondering who the newcomer was. Ryan continued on down the aisle and spotted an empty seat about half way down the bus. As he approached the boy sitting beside the seat placed his hand to guard the empty space:

“Someone’s already sitting there. Find somewhere else.” The boy said.

Ryan sat down on an empty seat near to the back of the bus, beside a girl who didn’t even look at him as he sat down. She was too busy staring out the window, trying not to catch his eye. The bus sauntered through the early morning traffic and reached its destination: Jimmy Carter Middle School. The doors opened and the bus disgorged its passengers. Ryan followed his new schoolmates out the door and into the school. The place was noisy and warm as friends who hadn’t seen each other in weeks laughed and talked together. Ryan took it all in as he moved slowly down the packed corridor. The School had the usual cliques, the pretty girls hung out with other pretty girls, the sports stars hung out with other sports stars and the quiet kids hung out in small closely knit groups or alone.

It was exactly like Ryan’s last school back in Chicago, except that most people here were much better sun tanned. Ryan followed the signs for the Vice-principal’s office and knocked on the open door.

“Come in.” said a bespectacled woman seated behind a desk.
“Excuse me.” said Ryan. “I’m a new student here.”
“Name?” She responded.
“Ryan Curtis.”
“Ah, Yes.” She said as she ticked a box on a printed list that lay on her desk. She smiled at Ryan: “Are your parents with you?”

“No, they’re busy.”

“Well that’s understandable. I’m Angela Williams. Your home room is number fourteen. Take a right when you leave my office and then take a left. It’s the sixth door on your right. It’s numbered.”

“Thanks.” said Ryan.

“The Vice-principal asked to speak with you when you arrived. He’s in his office, go straight in. I hope you enjoy your time with us Ryan.”

“I hope so too. See you again.”

 

Ryan rapped his knuckles on the open door and entered the Vice-principal’s office.

The Vice-principal’s nameplate on his desk identified him as Mr Stack. He attempted to smile as Ryan walked in, at least, the sides of his mouth curled up slightly and he exposed some teeth.
“Ryan Curtis. It’s nice to meet you. Are your parents here?”
“No. They were called away on business.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, I was really hoping to meet them. Never mind, let’s have a quick chat before you start class. I like to get to know all my students. Connecting with people personally was a value espoused by the man who this institution of learning was named after: Our thirty-ninth and best President.” Mr Stack leaned back in his chair and pointed up at the portrait of President Carter which hung over his desk.

“That’s great.” said Ryan.
“Yes, He was great wasn’t he? I know it’s fashionable for people to mock the man as ineffective in office but he proved them wrong afterwards. Yes he did!”
“I suppose.” said a confused Ryan, this wasn’t how educators were supposed to talk.
“His approach to life informs everything this school strives for. Have you seen our motto? “Attempt to succeed.” Marvellous sentiments, I’m sure you’ll agree.”

“Yes, I definitely do.” Ryan said in an effort to bring the conversation to a close before it became even weirder. “I’d better go to class.”

“Yes.” responded Mr Stack as he stood up to shake Ryan’s hand. “Best of luck.”

Ryan left the office as quickly as was polite. A bell rang, signalling to everyone that they had better get to class instantly. Ryan picked up the pace and got to his new classroom just as the second bell sounded. A desk at the front was the only one still free. He sat down and tucked his bag underneath his desk. He probably had a locker somewhere. He’d ask someone later on. An adult waltzed into the room and stood at the top of the class.

“Good Morning class.” He said with a slight lisp.

“Good Morning sir.” The class chorused in unison.

“Many of you know who I am, I recognise a lot of you from last year. I’m Mr Ridge. English teacher and the nearest thing this school has to a poet. But enough about me; we’ll allow our new classmates introduce themselves. You there!” he said pointing at Ryan. “I don’t know who you are. Tell us about yourself.”

“What would you like to know?” Ryan asked.

“Your name for starters.”

“I’m Ryan Curtis, I moved here nearly a year ago but this is my first time at the school.”

“And what did you do for a year instead of coming to our palace of education?”

“I was…home schooled.”

“And why did you stop?”

“My parents thought it might be a good idea to meet people of my own age. We used to travel a lot because of my parents job but we’re settling down now.”

“Very good. What do your parents do?”

There it was: the question Ryan dreaded. The answer he gave would undoubtedly greatly affect the new few weeks and months of his life.

“They’re involved in law enforcement.”

“Excellent. Who’s next? You there, the blonde girl with the vacant expression!” said Mr Ridge.

Ryan sat back and relaxed. He’d dodged that bullet. He mentally gave himself a pat on the back, saying that his parents worked in law enforcement had been smart. It was partially true and also managed to skirt the issue of what it was they actually did. School life would be difficult enough without letting everyone know on the first day that his parents were Superheroes.

Convention Report: ArcadeCon 7th July 2013

Last weekend my wife and I attended ArcadeCon in the Ballsbridge Hotel (You know the one, Sean Dunne paid over €100m for it thinking that Irish people would queue up to pay €1m apiece for apartments in Dublin’s most charmless area. Yeah, I said it: Ballsbridge can burn in hell, There’s no decent pubs and its full of bankers .)

Anyway, rant over. The hotel isn’t bad except for the insane prices in the bar and the fact that it looks like it was constructed out of bargain basement Lego bricks in the 1970’s. It was filled with a mixture of convention attendees dressed as Anime characters and bemused American tourists. The Convention took over most of the ground floor and some of the first floor. The main attraction for me was the Stephen Mooney and Roger Yuan panels.

Stephen spoke to the rather small but enthusiastic audience about his comic “Half Past Danger”. It’s great, by the way. You should go buy it. I’ve decided that the trade paperback will be my default Christmas gift for those who I feel need some culture in their life. I do that sort of thing a lot, because I’m an unbelievable ass.  Stephen claims to be useless about self-promotion but I think he did a great job. If you get a chance to chat to him then you should. Kim from the Irish Pubcast interviewed him and they made for an entertaining team.

I hit the trade floor for a brief period between panels and picked up some Anime films at very decent prices and chatted to a few of the comics people hanging around. It isn’t really a comics event though, the crowd swings very much towards anime even though the Con tries to cater to many tastes including movies, games and comics and I imagine that people who don’t have at least a passing interest in Manga and Anime may be left feeling a little cold.

Roger Yuen’s panel was an absolute joy to attend, at least for me and my interest in martial arts and action movies. Again, the turnout for the panel was pretty sparse, maybe fifteen people out of the entire attendance of over one thousand. That was disappointing for a guest who has done so much work in Hollywood over the years. He was in “Skyfall” and trained Daniel Craig to fight for the film. If you remember the film there’s a scene where Bond is attacked by three guys in a Casino in Macau. One of those is Roger. He was also the Fiendish Doctor Woo in “Black Dynamite”.  I asked Roger a question about the techniques he would use to train an actor who has no martial arts background and Roger told us to move the chairs into a corner as he took us through a class of the basic moves he uses to train actors to perform in fight scenes. Spoiler: he starts with boxing techniques and moves on from there depending on what style most suits the actor physically.  

I enjoyed the con overall and it’s great to see another successful entry into the nerd calendar in Ireland. I think my future attendances will be based on what guests the organisers get for coming years, if they manage to get people of the calibre of Mooney and Yuan again then I’ll definitely be back.

Convention Report: FiComic, Barcelona April 11th to 14th

So, Barcelona Con is done. It's my first time attending a con in continental Europe. I had heard that the larger cons in France and Spain nearly equalled SDCC in terms of headcount (at least until SDCC went crazy with attendance figures in 2007 to the present.) I can confirm that this is indeed the case with there easily being 15,000 at the Barcelona Con on Saturday the 13th.

I only went to one day of the convention because there were a limited number of guests that interested me and I figured I'd be able to see them all in one day. I was wrong. I'll do a quick list of Pros and Cons and then an overview. Away we go!

Pros.

• Ticket prices: €7 for a day pass with a booking fee of €2 if you buy them on-line or in El Corte Ingles. That's an amazing price.
• Location: The Convention takes place in Fira De Barcelona near Montjuic. It's easy to get to via Metro or bus and the area, like most of Barcelona, is lovely looking. The Catalonian Art Museum is five minutes away at the top of a nearby hill. The Sonar Music Festival is held across the road so the area is well able to handle large numbers of visitors.
• Sales floor: The sales floor is easily the equal of SDCC, mostly focusing on merchandise but with comics as well. Most of the comics are in Catalan or Spanish as you would expect. The range of merchandise was pretty impressive. If you were looking for T-shirts, DVD's or action figures etc. then you would have no bother finding what you're looking for at fairly reasonable prices.
• Cosplay: Easily the most impressive Con I've been to in terms of people dressing up as characters. I'd say easily ten percent of the attendees were in costume. Many of these were impressive. A Big shout out to the Danerys, Zatanna, Ezio Auditore and Matt Murdock with Elektra who were as good as their screen counterparts.
• Decent film and TV presence: Fox, Microsoft, Nintendo and Warner Bros all had booths giving out freebies and showing trailers upcoming releases.
• Art displays: There were several of these. One focused on Superman, one for the Avengers and X-Men and another on western comics. The Superman display had original artwork and comics going back to 1943 up to date. The Avengers and X-men display had original art from many of the artists who have worked on those characters (George Perez, Stuart Immonen, John Byrne, Mark Bagley, Jim Lee etc)
• Beer: Beer was sold at a few places inside the convention hall. Think about that for a second.
• Crèche: There was a crèche for the Kids in case you didn't want little Eduardo hanging off you all day.
• Big retailers: FNAC and El Corte Ingles had massive stalls selling books and comics at standard retail prices. It kept manners on the other retailers as they knew they couldn't fleece you. They also took credit cards, which is rare at a convention.
• Media: The con was well advertised with posters on bus stops, the metro, lampposts and even TV coverage. It drew lots of crowds of day trippers and families which added to the atmosphere.
• Editors: Marvel and DC and Spanish publishers were there looking for talent in a portfolio review area similar to that of San Diego.

Cons.

• No artist alley: I usually try to buy comics and get sketches from Artists and writers at conventions. There was no opportunity to do this at Ficomic.
• Guest access: There were some great guests but they were difficult to talk to or even meet. The fact that they had no set tables that they were going to be at during the day meant it was hard to find them. Signing sessions were generally short and crowded, limiting chances to speak to the creatives.
• Panels: The three rooms set up for the panels were fairly small so you'd little chance of getting into them. The one for the artist presentations was minuscule. Barely one hundred people would fit in it.

Overall? It was fine. There would be better cons to attend if you wanted to break in to comics or chat to creators (i.e. smaller ones) but the location was great and the sales floor was worth it if you had an infinite amount of money and were into vast amounts of merchandise. (I ended up buying more Mass Effect T shirts at reasonable prices, which is never a bad thing.)The art displays were very impressive. Worth going to if you want the SDCC scale experience without the €1,500 in air fare. It's probably best done as a one day con attendance in the midst of a larger city break (which is what I did) as I don’t think that there’s enough going on to keep you there for multiple days

Next up is Arcade Con in July, DICE in September and Roll Out Roll Call in October.

Convention Preparation: Part Three of Three.

OK, so it’s time for the final part of convention preparation:What to do at the con itself.

Convention Etiquette.

I covered basic hygiene last week so I’ll assume you’re washed and dressed appropriately.

You’re going to have to queue, sometimes for hours, to get into the more popular panels. Be nice, don’t cut the queue, don’t break wind in the line and nerve gas the people around you and please, no shoving.

Treat everyone like you’d want to be treated and make the effort to talk to people. You’d be amazed at the conversations you’ll strike up if you make the effort. Even if you’re a bit of a loner socially (and many of us are) or at the con on your own I’d strongly urge you to make the effort. Remember, you have at least one thing in common with the stranger beside you: your shared love of pop culture. There’s a conversation starter right there. 

We’re in a connected world and the online fandom can sometimes breed a bit on anger in people. You may run into people you’ve crossed swords with on a message board in the past. It happens. Resist the urge to smash your pint glass in their stupid faces, I don’t care if they insulted Joss Whedon or committed another heinous crime: leave it alone. You will be thrown out of the con or arrested.

You may run into guests outside of the convention. Remember to give them their space. Don’t rush over to them in the Indian restaurant down the street and demand they sign your chest or speak to them while they’re taking a dump. Both of these are things I have seen happen.

Having said that, if they’re holding court in the hotel bar, get in there and buy them a drink! They’re regular people too. You may be surprised what you have in common.

Attending panels.

This is the fun stuff right here, it’s one of the major attractions of attending any convention. You get to sit in a room and hear someone whose work you adore just talk for an hour. The best panels I have attended are hours I will remember forever. (e.g. Veronica Mars panel at SDCC in 2006.) 

There’ll usually be a Q & A session at the end. Have your burning questions ready. You’ll usually be only able to ask one as time is always against you. Keep it short and sweet. Sometimes someone else will have asked your question already, have a back up prepared and written down somewhere just in case.

Oh and don’t be the guy AT EVERY CONVENTION I’VE EVER BEEN TO who asks the voice actor “What would happen if (cartoon character A) and (cartoon character B) went to a restaurant and didn’t get what they ordered.” Voice actors hate these questions. In fact, if you asked one what was the question they’d least like to be asked it would probably be one of these types of question. (Someone asked this to Gary Chalk (Voice of Optimus Prime) at a con I attended a few years back and got that exact answer.)

Also DO NOT ask an actor if they’ve read slash fiction involving characters they’ve played. They haven’t. Most of them have no idea it even exists. (This was also asked of Gary Chalk at the con in the UK I attended. He was asked it at a Canadian convention the next year as well.)  

Signings.

Many cons put a limit of the amount of things you can get signed. Three or four things is usually the maximum allowed. There are lots of other people in the line so be considerate of them and the wrist of the writer or actor who is doing the signing.

Some people will charge for a signed photo, its how many jobbing actors help pay the mortgage. You’ll usually be informed in advance by the con organisers if it’s the case. Most actors in my experience will usually be ok with getting a photo taken with you though.

Buying stuff!

Also a major attraction of attending a con in person. Online shopping is fun but you can’t beat the feeling of finding at item you really wanted in the flesh (as it were).

Sometimes there’ll be con exclusive items (toys, limited edition art prints etc). These can be worth getting but they’ll occasionally be pricey. Depending on the item there may be an aftermarket value so buying a spare for Ebay can be worth your while. (SDCC convention exclusives can go for four to five times their retail price, depending on the item).

Make a shopping list of what you really want to get to help you budget. Get your list done and everything after that is gravy.

You should be prepared to bargain if possible. Some dealers won’t do it. Many will. Shop around. But remember that rare items will go quickly. The last hour of a convention is a good time to do some shopping. The dealers want to bring as little as possible home with them. Getting fifty percent knocked off something is not uncommon if you can haggle. 

Buying artwork from artists is also possible. Sketches can run you anything from €10 to €100, depending on if it’s a head sketch or a full figure. It’s a great way of having a unique item that you can get framed and hang on the wall of your man cave / hovel.

Some artists will be selling the original artwork from comics they’ve worked on. These can cost anything from €40 to a few thousand a page. The higher prices are usually commanded by “Splash page” images (i.e. a single image of a famous character or characters) or comic covers. Expect to pay less for storytelling pages with lots of smaller panels.

You can often walk away with a decent page of published artwork from a top tier comic for €200 to €300.

 
Getting your luggage / purchases home.

Some cons (particularly ones that deal heavily in toys) in the USA will have a Fed-Ex or DHL desk on site that will allow you to send stuff home directly. It’s usually expensive but you’re paying for the convenience.

You can always post packages home from a nearby post office as well. Chances are you’ll make it home before the parcel does.

Book an extra bag in for the return journey in advance if you are planning on getting a lot of stuff. It’s cheaper than showing up at the airport with the extra bag.

That’s it, that’s all I can think of off-hand! I’d be happy to take further questions via the comments or facebook if you have any.

Convention Preparation! Part Two of Three.

Hopefully the three people reading this found last week's post to be interesting. Today I'll cover accommodation and personal matters.

Accommodation.

Unless you’re planning on buying a copy of Spider-man number 1 then this is probably going to be one of your biggest single expenses. There are ways of getting this figure down but they aren’t pretty.

Many cons are held in hotels or in convention centres connected to hotels. These are usually your best bet for accommodation. Reduced room rates are generally offered to attendees and these can be good value they often throw in free parking or Wi-Fi as well.

Another reason to stay in the con hotel is that there’s also a bit more of a buzz around the con location with attendees and guests often mingling in the bar into the small hours of the morning. UK and Irish cons are really good for this kind of thing in my experience. Go on, have a drink with your favourite cast member of Doctor Who. It’s worth paying for that isn’t it?

Sharing a room with another attendee can bring down the cost but ideally make sure you know your roommate. I’ve heard horror stories about people being left in the lurch by randomers they’ve agreed to share a room with at a convention. (Room service they didn’t order, breakages, being locked out of the room and forced to sleep in the hall etc).

Most conventions will be held in a city centre or within a short bus journey of same so you’ll have other options if you want to spend less on your place to stay. Tripadvisor is your friend, or ask someone with local knowledge.

As regards SDCC, Hotel rooms in San Diego can run on the expensive side though many hotels offer reduced convention rates. These reduced rates will still run you around $150 a night or more and they’re as hard to get as tickets for the convention itself. This year’s allocation was offered via the comic con website and is gone already.

Expect to pay $200 a night for a standard (i.e. clean and not rat infested) room at SDCC. Three star hotels in NYC will run you around the same price but there’s many other options to get those costs down if needs be. Such as staying away from the convention and using the subway to get around.  

If going to SDCC, try to get a hotel on one of the convention organised bus routes. The buses run through the night from the convention centre to the hotels and are a safe way to get around. I’ve never experienced any trouble on them no matter what time I got one. Most of the convention approved hotels are within walking distance of the con as well and San Diego is reasonably safe even at night.

Personal matters.

The usual tips for travelling in any city apply: Don’t look too much like a tourist or leave your bag hanging off the back of your chair. Try avoid any areas where membership of a gang is a prerequisite.

Now, this next part isn’t addressed to you, don’t be insulted. But….there is always, ALWAYS some people at every con I’ve been to that smells like Satan’s armpit. These people (again, not you) clearly didn’t like the price of the hotels and decided that sleeping in a dumpster was the way to go.

There’s probably a shower in your hotel. Use it at least once a day. They have unlimited hot water. You have no excuse: SHOWER!!!!!  No amount of deodorant or eau de toilette will cover up your stink after standing in line for hours on end if you haven’t had a shower. (Though a good deodorant is also necessary. Roll on ones work best. Body spray cracks under the pressure.)

Also, brush your teeth and use mouthwash, you may end up chatting to Stan Lee or someone equally as famous. You do not want your breath to stink like a horses’ hairy hole. 

What should I bring to the con with me?

Firstly, bring a backpack, one you can carry comfortably for hours. It'll be extremely handy and will allow you to have you hands free. Your backpack should contain:

Food and water. Nothing too crazy. Just a bottle or two of water and something to graze on. It’s often difficult to find time to get food if you have a full itinerary and on site food provision at cons is stupidly expensive (think airport prices.) and usually rancid.

Extra bags. Plastic bags are necessary if you’re planning on buying merchandise. If you’re thinking of getting a lot of stuff or something particularly grandiose then pack one of those massive bags that Toy’s R Us give out when you buy something there or even one of those IKEA blue bags.

Camera. Holy cow! That’s (insert famous person name here)! I really wish I had a decent camera to take a once in a lifetime picture…

Seriously, photo opportunities will happen. Be prepared to capture them.

Batteries. For your camera.

Money and credit card.

Baby wipes. Yes, Really! You may break out in a cold sweat at certain times. Have something to clean yourself off with.

Dress comfortably for the con if you can. You’ll be standing for long periods in queues etc and will probably walk quite a bit to get to panels and on the trading floor if it’s a bigger show. I've heard of people losing several pounds at SDCC due to the amount of walking that needs to be done to get around the convention centre. Hence why you should bring water and why people get really sweaty.

 

If you're cosplaying, well...good luck.

Next Week: At the convention!

Looking for Spidey

Dan hunched down in front of the snack machine and tried to grasp the chocolate bar that hung limply inside. The machine continued to play tricks on him despite the relationship they'd developed during his numerous visits to the hospital in the last month. It had all been going so well, he'd inserted the required amount of coins and punched in the code that would magically grant him that sweet slab of milk chocolate. The machine had whirred for a handful of seconds as the proper corkscrew arm winded its way out to drop the bar into the open slot. Then it had stopped and the chocolate bar, his chocolate bar, the one he had JUST paid for, had hung there. It was teasing him with the promise of tasty goodness. The way the gold foil caught the light made it look like the bar was smirking at him. Taunting him.

 

Dan had been around for eleven years now and he knew this to be true: he was experiencing the greatest injustice visited on any member of the human race ever. Life wasn't fair. Dan grabbed the sides of the machine in anger and tried to shake it. It didn't work. He lacked the upper body strength to achieve revenge on this soulless piece of machinery. He decided that he would give it a solid kick instead. He played soccer every evening; he'd show that robotic chocolate keeper what was what.

 

He took a step back and wound up to unleash a volley on its glass face and swung. His right foot impacted on the snack food dispenser and it shook.

"Hey! What are you doing?" roared an adult.

Dan turned towards the source of the shout and saw the ward nurse approaching like a thunderstorm.

"Get over here." She shouted.

Dan turned on his heels and ran towards the children’s ward. He'd easily outpace her and find somewhere to hide until the heat died down. He'd make his way back to his mum later; she wouldn't notice he was gone for ages yet.

 

He expertly rounded a corner and ducked behind an unoccupied stretcher. He listened carefully and could hear the nurse’s pounding footsteps coming closer. Terrified, Dan scouted out alternate hiding locations and noticed that the door to one of the rooms further down the hall was ajar. He crouched down and silently slipped towards the door. He entered the room and soundlessly closed the door over. He hunched down onto the floor, hoping that she wouldn’t notice him.

 

The nurse walked by outside and didn't see him.

"Who's there?" asked a voice from the other side of the room.

Dan looked to where the voice had come from and took note of his surroundings for the first time. He was in a small private room. The occupant of the bed was hidden from view by a curtain that reached from the ceiling to the floor. Dan crept forward and looked through a gap in the curtain. A small boy lay underneath the sheets of the bed. He was wearing Spider-man pyjamas and had a tube running into his arm from a nearby drip.

"Sorry." said Dan "I didn't think there was anyone in here."

"What are you doing?" responded the boy.

"Hiding out from a clip around the ear."

"What did you do?" asked the boy, his eyes widening in a mixture of shock and excitement.

"Attacked a vending machine." replied Dan.

"Why did you do that?"

"It stole my chocolate money."

"Ahhh!" the boy replied knowingly, as if that answer had explained everything.

"I'm not crazy." said Dan, leaping to his own defence.

"Never said you were."

"So, what's your name?"

"I'm Mark." said the boy in the bed.

"Dan."

"Nice to meet you."

"So, what are you in for?"

"I'm sick."

"It's a hospital and you have a tube in your arm, that's kind of a given."

"Leukaemia." said Mark.

"Oh" Dan didn't know much about it but he knew it was bad. "Sorry."

Dan looked for an excuse to change the topic; he noticed a pile of comics on the chair beside the bed.

"You must really like Spider-man, Mark."

"Yeah, he's awesome! Do you like him?"

"I guess. I saw that movie they made."

"Yeah it was OK I suppose."

"Not a fan?"

"The comics are better."

"I've never read any." said Dan.

"What? Never?" asked a disbelieving Mark.

"My parents don't like that kind of thing in the house. They think I have AD...AH..HD or something. I don't get to watch cartoons or play video games and they try to keep me away from shiny objects."

"That sounds terrible; I wouldn't have anything if I wasn't able to read comics."

"Is that all you do all day? Read stuff?"

"Yeah, I don't get out much or have many visitors."

"What about your friends? Or your parents?"

"Mum stops by every day after work but all she wants to do is talk about her day. She's a lawyer and works like crazy."

"Yeah, my parents don't have much time for me either. My mum gave birth a few weeks ago to my new sister."

"Is that why you're hanging around the hospital?"

"My sister was born early; they have her in one of those oven things all the time."

"Ovens?" queried Mark. "Do you mean an incubator?"

"Is that what they're called? Anyway I should get back. I'll drop by and see you again; it beats hanging around in the corridors."

Mark brightened up considerably: "That's great! We can read some comics together."

"Sure." Dan said and turned to leave: "See you tomorrow."

 

 

***************************************************************

 

Next day, Dan returned and sat down on the chair next to Mark's bed. Mark was engrossed in a comic book. Two neat piles of books lay within arms reach.

"What's with all the books?" asked Dan.

"The pile beside you is ones that I’ve read; the one over there on the locker is ones I haven't. Pick some from the ones I’ve read, but keep them in order." He warned.

"Yes boss."

"Sorry, I just like to keep things neat."

"I was just joking Mark."

Just then, the door opened and a smartly dressed woman entered, carrying a plastic bag.

"Mark darling..." she began to say, but she noticed that there was another person in the room and paused.”... Oh... Who are you?"

"This is Dan mother. He's keeping me company."

Dan stood up and offered his hand to Mark's mother. She took one look at the grubby appendage being offered and shook it with a barely noticeable look of disgust.

"Nice to meet you." said Dan.

"Hello Dan." Mark's mother said as she reached into the plastic bag and pulled out a small stack of comics. "I stopped by the comic shop and bought you some new ones. I have to meet your doctor now but I’ll stop in later tonight."

"Ok, mother." said Mark. "Leave them on the..."

"Bottom of the pile, I know. See you later, don't do too much. You tire easily."

"I know. I'll see you tonight." after another short glance at Dan, Marks mother left.

"She seems....nice." said Dan.

"The word you're looking for is "distant". That's what everyone says about her." responded Mark.

"I didn't say that. Listen..." said Dan, trying to change the subject, “I need to go poop. Mum's making me eat stuff with fibre for breakfast because she says that the cereal I used to eat is too sugary. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Ok" said Mark. "You don't need to give me the whole explanation next time."

"No problem."

 

Dan left the room and followed Mark's mother to the doctor’s office. He trailed her slowly and used the trolleys and other people in the corridor as cover. He wanted to hear what the doctor said about his new friend.

Dan reached the office without being seen and pretended to tie his shoelaces as he listened:

"The prognosis isn't good Miss Walsh." said the Doctor. "Mark isn't responding as well as we had hoped to the drug treatment. We may need to consider a bone marrow transplant."

Dan had heard enough and walked back to Mark's room.

 

"How was your poop?" asked Mark as Dan entered.

"Pretty good. Not in my top ten of all time though."

"Do me a favour: never tell me the details of that top ten."

"Ok. But you're missing out. The best was the time I pooped in Disneyland."

"Here." said Mark pushing a paperback across the bed. "This is the first appearance of Doctor Octopus in Ultimate Spider-man. Read it and stop disturbing me."

Dan picked up the book; a flyer fell out from the back page. Dan reached down to pick it up.

"Hey!" Dan said. "This says that there's a comic convention on in the city in a few days! Spider-man's going to be there! Look!"

Dan pointed to the picture of Spider-man on the flyer. "Are you going?"

"No." said Mark. "My mother says I’m not well enough yet. I'm going to miss it."

"That's lame." said Dan; an idea was beginning to form in his head.  

 

*************************************************************

 

Early on Saturday morning, Dan walked into Mark's room; Mark was halfway through a bowl of coco-pops.

"What are you doing here?" asked Mark when he had finished slurping down the remaining mouthfuls of chocolatey milk.

"We're going to the comic convention, the nurse will be here in five minutes to take your breakfast tray, she’s down the hall. Put these on." Dan thrust a plastic bag containing a tracksuit bottom and jumper at Mark.

Mark grinned: "That's awesome!"

"If we sneak out now we can be at the convention when the doors open at 10 o'clock, we'll meet Spider-man and be back here in time for lunch, you won't be missed. We can put some pillows in the bed and pull the curtains. That always works on TV."

Mark pulled on the clothes over his pyjamas and got back under the sheets, Dan hid under the bed. The nurse entered and collected the tray.

"Are you feeling OK?" she asked Mark. "You look a little flushed."

"I'm fine, but I didn't sleep well last night, I think I might go to sleep for a while."

"OK, I'll pull the curtains and you rest." said the nurse. She closed the curtains and left the room. Dan crawled out from under the bed.

"I'm going to borrow a wheelchair and we'll go into town. The number 84 bus will get us there in 10 minutes."

Dan left the room and returned thirty seconds later with a wheel chair. Mark slowly got out of the bed and sat in the chair. Dan opened the wardrobe and took out a spare blanket, he spread it over Mark.

"That should keep you warm; it's not too cold outside."

Dan and Mark left the room and slowly moved down the corridor. They exited the hospital without any problems, nobody paid attention to what kids did.

 

Within two minutes they had reached a bus stop on the main road outside the hospital. A bus was slowly making its way towards them. It pulled up to the kerb beside them and the Driver lowered the access ramp to allow the wheelchair on.

"Where are you two lads off to?" asked the driver.

"We have a note from the Doctor saying it's OK." said Dan, as he quickly waved a piece of headed notepaper in the air.

The Driver waved them on and Dan paid the fare.

"Where did you get a note from the doctor?" asked Mark in a whisper.

"He left his office unlocked. I took some of his notepaper and wrote a note, nobody will know."

"You're mad."

"No, I'm street-smart."  

 

The bus lurched slowly into town, stopping occasionally to let people on and off. The boys disembarked at a stop a few minutes from the hotel where the convention was being held.

"What do we do if someone asks us why you're pushing a boy in a wheelchair into a comic convention?" asked Mark.

"We tell them you're dressed up as that guy from X-men. The Professor. Practice looking seriously constipated, it'll make them think you're pretending to have mental powers."

"That won't work."

"Sure it will, people who read comics will totally fall for it."

They joined the queue for the convention just as the doors opened. The small crowd entered the hall and dispersed to the various tables to buy comics, talk to writers and artists and complain loudly about what happened in this week’s issue of Amazing Spider-man.

They saw Spider-man at the other end of the hall; he was posing for pictures with some attendees and doing backflips and handstands to a small, attentive audience.

Dan pushed the chair forward: "There he is, let's go talk to him!"

Mark stammered nervously: “T-t-talk to Spider-man?"

"Sure."

"I can't...I don't know what to say."

"Hey! Spider-man! Hey! Over here!" shouted Dan.

"Quiet down, shhhh!" cried Mark, clutching at Dan’s arm in sheer terror.

Spider-man turned to look at them and walked over.

"What can I do for you boys?" he asked.

"My friend is your biggest fan." said Dan. "He has every comic you're in. He's not feeling well at the moment so he's not really talkative."

"I'm sorry to hear that. What are your names?"

"I'm Dan and he's Mark."

"Nice to meet both of you. I hope you get well soon Mark." said Spidey.

“Can we get a picture with you Spider-man?” asked Dan.

“Sure thing.” Spidey said as he crouched down beside Mark and posed.

Dan snapped a picture with the camera on his phone.

"I have to meet some more people.” said Spidey. “Have a nice day at the convention."

Spider-man shook both their hands and went to talk to some more kids who had just entered the room.

"Dude! We just shook hands with Spider-man!" exclaimed Dan.

Mark stared at his hand, speechless. “Merp…” was all he eventually managed to say.

"Do you want to see anything else? There's a guy that draws Transformers over there!"

Mark was still staring at his hand in shock.

"I think you've seen enough for today. Let's get back to the hospital before we're missed."

Dan pushed Mark from the building and they walked back to where the bus stop was.

"That was pretty cool." said Dan.

"Yes."

"Still in shock?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"No problem."

 

The bus arrived and they returned to the hospital. They entered through a side entrance and managed to make it to Mark's room without being seen. Dan helped Mark up from the chair and Mark clambered into the bed.  

"When is the next convention on?" asked Mark.

"I overheard someone say there's another one in three months’ time. Will you be better by then?"

"Yes." Mark said firmly. "Yes I will."

"Cool. I'd better get home. Mum thinks I'm at soccer practice. I'll bring the chair back to where I found it."

"Are you going to be at the hospital next week?"

Dan thought for a second: His little sister had come home last night after the doctors had given her a clean bill of health. It would be difficult to keep sneaking off to visit Mark now that his parents weren't coming here all the time.

"Sure." Dan said. "I'll see you on Monday."

Mark smiled. "Great. See you Monday."